Ode to a tiny cactus

A gift from a colleague
So little and green
You are the tiniest cactus
That I’ve ever seen

I’m so very sorry
That to my care you have come
Your days are numbered, wee friend
As I have no green thumb

They say, “It’s a cactus!
Little care you must give”
But oh! Tiny cactus
How long will you live?

I’ve killed bushes and flowers
Some large and some small
Plants that were once hardy
Are now nothing at all

So dear, tiny cactus
I promise you now
A death fast and painless
I do solemnly vow

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UPDATE: October 2016

Ode to a Tiny Cactus, Reprise