I’m Not That Mom

(Sung to the tune of “I’m Not That Girl” from Wicked.)

Meal cooked, house clean
Organic food, never mean
Soft spoken and always calm
She brings so much joy
But I’m not that mom

Don’t yell too loud
Don’t lose your shit, it’s not allowed
Don’t forget you can’t get mad
Never make them sad
I’m not that mom

Every so often we long to scream
And tell our children to eff off
But that might be just a bit extreme
Just kidding, no it’s really not

Trendy clothes, perfect hair
She is flawless, do I care?
My kid is sticky, I don’t know why
Her children are clean
She doesn’t drink caffeine
I’m not that mom

So tired, I stress
My house is a ginormous mess
My kid’s alive, I call that a win
There’s one thing I know
It’s all for show
And I’m not that mom